


Neither of us are dying

by OddsAndLievens



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, But only a little, Fix-It, Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spite hath fuelled me, ptsd adam and shiro, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 14:36:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15642762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OddsAndLievens/pseuds/OddsAndLievens
Summary: Wrote this mostly out of frustration for the new seasonAdam doesn't die and he and Shiro are reunited





	Neither of us are dying

“How you holding up buddy?” Asked Sam, making his way towards the sofa where Adam was sat, documents in hand and tea placed beside him.

“I’m doing fine, just being bogged down with all these files. There’s so much new data coming in it’s hard to keep track of it all but someone’s got to do it and it might as well be me.” He flashed Sam a quick smile which fell almost as soon as it had appeared accompanied with a heavy sigh. “I feel useless.”

“Adam…”

“They won’t approve me for flight missions after what happened with the initial attack three years ago. I can still fly, I should be out there helping my students.” Sam placed a hand over Adam’s clenched fist in an attempt to calm him.

“I understand, Adam, but this is dangerous. The injuries you sustained means your reflexes are slower, your arm seizes up at irregular intervals. It could cost you your life.” Adam snatched his hand from Sam’s grip and stood up.

“Is that what you told Takashi?” There was a heavy silence as he waited for an answer that Sam struggled to give. No matter what he said, he’d still be angry. “I’m going back to my room.” Adam told him, voice harsh but empty as he gathered the files upon the table. Once he’d bundled them all into his arms he quickly turned on his heel and left, marching away before he began screaming or crying in Sam’s face.

He threw open his door, slamming it behind him with a loud bang and tossing the files onto his desk haphazardly before flopping down upon the bed. He curled his arms around the pillow and buried his face in it. He wished he could pretend that he was resting his head against Shiro’s chest instead of on a pillow or how instead of a belt tightly wrapping around his middle it was his protective arms. But the pillow was cold and still against his face and the belt dug into his skin with a sharp pinch.

He remembered being so happy when he’d seen Sam alive and well, and he remembered how hopeful he’d been after realising that Shiro was alive, only confirmed by Sam himself. But the dread that had filled him when Matt had told them no one had seen Voltron in six months; that time had gotten longer and longer as Adam felt worse and worse with each passing day. He barely slept due to the faces that haunted his dreams and the nightmares that made him wake in a cold sweat and hug himself until morning. The worst part was the loneliness and the guilt. He’d had Shiro but he’d pushed him away and now he was probably dead or lost in the abyss of space. He’d had his other flight companions but almost all of them had died during the first attack on the galra and those who had survived spent most of their time with their family nowadays.

Adam didn’t have any family anymore, and he couldn’t help but blame himself for their absence.

That was the other thing, the guilt, the constant voice that lurked in the back of his mind telling him that he was alive while so many others were dead and he was simply letting himself waste away. He knew it was a toxic mindset but he couldn’t snap out of it. He’d convinced himself he deserved it.

He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep but he woke up feeling more tired than before, to the sound of someone pounding frantically on his door. He heard a man’s voice ask for him by rank and surname and then by first name. He pulled himself from his bed and slouched his way towards the door before opening it.

“What is it?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and yawning.

“Samuel Holt wanted me to summon you sir…”

“Why?” Adam cut off pulling on his thin dressing gown in an attempt to protect himself from the cold draft that always seemed to run through the base no matter the time of year.

“They’ve received a signal from Voltron.”

Adam felt his world stand still and he realised what had been said. They’d contacted Voltron. Shiro could still be alive. Hope and desperation rose up in Adam’s chest and he didn’t let the man finish as he sprinted past him towards the communications room, his head running only a single thought through his brain. _Please be ok, please be ok, please be ok._

He was barley paying attention to where he was going, running purely on auto pilot as he almost slammed into the door, catching himself so he didn’t end up flying directly into the computer.

“Adam!” Sam said, beaming as he watched Adam gasp for breath and lean heavily against the door.

“Are they…is he…” He wasn’t sure what to say but Sam smiled warmly and nodded.

“He’s alive Adam, they all are.” Happiness surged through him as he pulled Sam into a tight hug, small tears of relief slipping from his face as he smiled. Right now everything felt wonderful and good. The world around his was collapsing but it didn’t feel like it because Shiro was alive and Voltron could save them. Everything was going to be alright.

 

A few hours after the call had been all the time needed for Adam to slowly grow paranoid. He worried that the galra would kill them before they got to Earth. He worried that Shiro would hate him. He worried and worried and worried until he had almost talked himself out of going to the arrival all together. However, Sam and Colleen had made it impossible for him to hide away, practically dragging him from his room to make sure he was there. Colleen had grabbed his hand as they’d made their way down the corridor and gave it a comforting squeeze of encouragement that was greatly appreciated, temporarily calming the storm that was raging in his head.

It wasn’t sated for long as the storm reared its head as the cars approached, twisting his stomach into nervous knots. It got louder as the door opened but fell silent in one single instant. Shiro placed his hand against the door and pulled himself out, gently hopping onto the ground as his friends followed behind. His hair was white and his right arm was gone but he’d never looked more breath taking in his life.

Before Adam even knew what was happening he was running, away from Sam and Colleen who were currently wrapping their arms tightly around their youngest child, tears sparkling in their eyes as they finally reunited. He ran around the back of the crowd, eyes glued to Shiro who was fondly gazing over at his fellow paladins and allies. Their eyes met and Adam felt even more stunned than before as a dazzling smile broke across his face.

“Adam.” He said, a softness to his voice that had always made his heart flutter in his chest. They were running towards one another, looking as though they were about to sweep each other into a tight embrace but instead they halted a foot away from the other, uncertain of the boundaries within their current relationship.

“Takashi.” Adam whispered, reaching out hesitantly towards Shiro who quickly grabbed a hold of his hand, intertwining the fingers perfectly. Neither of them knew how to start or what to say as they both stood gazing at each other until they felt the burn of prying eyes upon them.

“Maybe we should talk about this in private?” Shiro suggested, shooting a look over at Coran who appeared ready to start dishing out popcorn as he intently watched the scene before him.

They walked away from the crowd, leaving the noise behind them as they an empty meeting room. Adam leant back against the table and trailed his fingers lightly down Shiro’s left arm, not meeting his gaze.

“You’re beautiful.” Shiro muttered causing Adam to jerk his head upwards. “Sorry if the arm’s off putting.”

“Your arm isn’t off putting.” Adam said, shaking his head and lifting his other hand to rest upon Shiro’s shoulder, gently brushing it with his thumb. His actions were slow and slightly hesitant, as though he was expecting Shiro to brush him aside.

“Is it the hair?” Shiro asked, a tremor clear in his voice but his body relaxing against the touches.

“No.” Adam replied as he moved his hand up to Shiro’s hair and running his fingers through it.

“Is it the scar?”

Adam shook his head, cupping Shiro’s cheek and tenderly stroking his thumb across it. Shiro’s eyes fluttered closed as he leaned into the touch.

“I’m sorry.” He muttered out into Adam’s palm, twisting his head to plant a small kiss into his hand. Adam raised his over hand to cup Shiro’s other cheek as he pressed their foreheads together.

“I’m sorry too,” Adam told him, “And you look so beautiful.”

Shiro chuckled, “You look gorgeous.” The smiled as Shiro rested his hand against Adam’s waist pulling him slightly closer.

Adam didn’t shy away, he leaned in and pressed his lips gently against Takashi’s. It was like he was melting as he wrapped his arms round the back of Shiro’s neck to pull him closer. It was slow and gently and seemed to last forever and also felt like it had lasted only a second as they pulled back. They both felt that it had ended too soon and dove forward once more to capture the other’s lips.

“I missed you so much.” Adam whispered between kisses, “I thought you’d died and I couldn’t stop blaming myself.”

“No!” Shiro yelled out slightly too loudly, “No, you had every right to feel the way you did. I pushed you away because I was desperate to prove to myself that I could. I needed the achievements to feel any sort of worth but I kept seeing my disease as the end and like all the chance I got given I had to take, no matter the risks.” He moved his arm around Adam’s back, wrapping him in a tight hug which Adam readily clung to.

“Please no more dying, I’ve had to mourn you twice already and that was enough for a lifetime.” He could feel Shiro smile against his cheek.

“I won’t.”

“You promise?”

Shiro placed a light kiss once more against Adam’s lips and as he pulled back he said, “I promise. No more death from here on out.”

The words Adam wanted to say danced on the tip of his tongue but he said nothing. They had time and plenty of it; they’d work their way up to saying it again, to build up from the foundations they’d laid years ago to what they’d had before grief and fear had worn it away.

 _I love you_  

**Author's Note:**

> Me ignoring my other project because I am angry


End file.
